


thunder round

by Elendraug



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, Catharsis, Illustrated, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:11:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7329148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elendraug/pseuds/Elendraug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>JOHN: hey, what are you even still doing here?<br/>JOHN: weren't you going to go with dave, and get ready for battle?<br/>TEREZI: Y3S<br/>TEREZI: 1'M JUST G1V1NG H1M 4ND H1S BRO SOM3 T1M3 TO TH3MS3LV3S F1RST<br/>TEREZI: 1 4M SUR3 TH3Y COULD US3 1T<br/>TEREZI: 4ND WH4T3V3R TH3 H3LL 1S GO1NG ON B3TW33N TH3M<br/>TEREZI: TH3 L4ST TH1NG 1 W4NT TO DO 1S 1NVOLV3 MYS3LF<br/>TEREZI: TH4T SOUNDS 3V3N MOR3 4WKW4RD TH4N L1NG3R1NG 4ROUND YOU GOOFY BUNCH OF N3RDS B31NG 4LL CUT3 4ND MUSHY W1TH YOUR HUM4N F4M1LY 4ND FR13NDSH1P STUFF<br/>JOHN: yeah, you sure do sound put off by it.<br/>JOHN: all hanging on our every word and such. :p<br/>TEREZI: 1T T4K3S 4 W1LL OF 1RON, TRUST M3<br/>JOHN: uh huh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	thunder round

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Noa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noa/gifts).



> 93% of this was written to [Snoop Dogg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJrM4JWd4zY), and the other 7% was written to [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A). Take that as you will.
> 
> Thanks to [hydromeow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydromeow) for the beta!

DAVE: lemme start over  
DAVE: ok lets say  
DAVE: way back whenever  
DAVE: howww  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: how did you tell your friends

* * *

“So everybody just kinda got used to it after a while?” Dave asks. 

He’s sitting on the roof of one of LOTAK’s many magnificent buildings, with Dirk’s towering apartment extending far into the atmosphere above them, off to the side. Though the conversation has meandered through a variety of topics, not least of all enough absurd anecdotes to have them both choking with laughter, they’ve settled back to weightier subjects while the world isn’t watching.

Dirk sits cross-legged beside Dave, who’s sprawled out. He shrugs, and looks over to Dave. “I mean, what are they going to say? After a certain point, they just have to accept it, right? I’m not gonna change, and neither are you. Unless you want to do something different later on, which is totally okay, too.”

Dave runs a hand up through his hair, brushing it out of the way of his shades. “Fuck, man, it feels good to get that shit off my chest. I haven’t really…” He trails off and stares at the lightning storm looming in the clouds.

A moment passes before Dirk says anything. He doesn’t want to prod too much. “Haven’t what?”

There’s a half-smile on Dave’s face when he turns back to looking at Dirk. His posture has relaxed; he’s got his hands braced behind him and his legs stretched out. “I haven’t had anybody to talk to, really, about all this shit. Not until now.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Dirk chews on his lip, and stares at his green slippers. “Hey, I’m glad to help.”

“You really did, dude. Thanks for listening, y’know?”

Dirk tries not to smile too widely. “No problem. Anytime.”

“Are we really gonna retire together? Like, is that your plan?”

“That’s going to depend on what Sburb offers for 401k options, isn’t it? Can we afford to retire in this ‘ecomony’?”

“If you stick with me, fuck yeah. I made a fucking killing in LOHACSE.”

“I think that can be arranged, so long as you promise to provide for my legion of puppet-fetishist chatbots. They’ll need someone to be a good influence in their lives.”

“Shit, dude, I’ll be the best robo-mentor the world’s ever seen. We could start a robo-orphanage and take in all the wayward scraps of at least semi-sentient technology that got up and abandoned by their previous caretakers. You ever worry about what’s gonna happen to Siri when Jobs’ successors swap her out for new shit? That keeps me the fuck up at night.”

“That might keep me up, if I slept.” Dirk smiles openly at Dave, unreserved. “You have a good heart.”

“Color me many hells of flattered.” Dave salutes to Dirk, smirking self-consciously. “That’s what you keep me around for, right?”

“Yeah.” Dirk pauses, and for a minute it seems like he might be adding some kind of sarcastic comment, but his tone is nowhere close. “It is, actually.”

Dave’s chest gets tight. “Yeah?”

Dirk laughs, nervous. “I kind of can’t believe I’m even talking to you right now. It doesn’t seem possible for you to be here. I guess on some level I always knew that playing the game would bring us to the same space, but given the shit I know?” He looks away. “It always seemed out of reach.”

“I’m here now, and we got to talk. So. There’s that.”

Dirk keeps his eyes on Dave. Dave watches as Dirk chews on the inside of his cheek, evident in the way his mouth is moving. 

ARquiusprite is still overseeing a huge burst of grist as it erupts out of the planet’s core, funneled via Dirk’s hyperextended apartment building. There’s silence, oddly, save for the wind that occasionally whips its way through the buildings. Either the rig is quiet by virtue of being a game construct, or it’s too high up in the atmosphere to hear.

Dave waits a minute before speaking again.

“Did you wanna like… do anything, before Terezi gets here?”

Dirk laughs again and licks at his teeth. “Uh. Sure, if you had something in mind.”

There’s palpable tension between them, suddenly, the same way the world held still as Dave had tried to mentally prepare himself for moving in to hug Dirk, the first time. Dirk isn’t far away from him; they’re separated by a few feet, at most, and all it would take is both of them shifting in, just slightly, and they’d be hip-checking each other.

“You know what?”

“Hm?”

Dave looks at him, sidelong. “It’s your turn to ask a lightning round question.”

“Oh.” Dirk lets out a sigh and glances away. He fiddles with the hem of his cape. Dave watches him work the fabric beneath his fingertips. “It is, isn’t it.”

“Yeah. Fire away.”

Dirk clears his throat, darts a glance at Dave, and looks away again. “Have we officially made this personal? I feel like the last one you asked me made it pretty personal but I want to be sure here before I make a fucking idiot of myself.”

“Lob a questionable cannonball in my direction, man. It’s all good.”

“Okay, um.” His face is flushed and his cheeks are tense with his failed attempts not to smile. “You don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want, but since you… Uh, since you just asked me if I wanted to do anything.”

Dave’s pulse picks up. Something’s up and he wants to know what. The anticipation is exciting, in the way that Truth or Dare sessions get at three in the morning. At least, he assumes that’s how they’d go, if they were _actually_ at a magical slumber party.

“Yeah?”

Dirk stares out at the lightning storm when he speaks, pointedly keeping himself from making eye contact with Dave.

“Has anyone ever gone down on you?”

A thrill runs through Dave; he may hate stupid surprises, but pleasant surprises are a completely different ballgame. Sports. Whatever. He flexes his toes inside his shoes and lifts his head up, looking at the tornado-green lightning bolts crackle across the sky. He tilts his head to the side just slightly, and checks Dirk out through his peripheral vision.

“Yeah. A few times. Teeth have been an issue, though, so I kept getting offered rimming as a compromise.” He sees Dirk shiver. Dave figures that’s probably a good sign. “Is it my turn?”

Dirk nods. His hands are folded in his lap, and he’s holding very still. “Yeah. Go for it.”

Dave keeps his eyes on Dirk as he speaks, ready to gauge his response. “You ever sucked a dick?”

“No,” Dirk replies, his fingers steepled. “Not a dick. Not technically.”

Dave lifts an eyebrow at that. “Not with Jake?”

“Nope. It wasn’t with Jake.”

“And it wasn’t a dick?”

Dirk smiles fondly to himself and shakes his head. “Not, uh. Not of our world, I’ll say that.”

“Uh huh.”

Dirk looks over at his apartment, or at least the hugely multiplied height of it, and thinks about how much soda he managed to go through in one hangout session. The memory is a little hazy, but the fact that the recollection survived such a transfer is a motherfucking miracle in of itself. “So. Yeah. Not a human dick.”

“Right.” Dave is intrigued but isn’t going to force an answer out of him. That shit’s against the lightning round rules of being cool bros. “Your turn.”

Dirk’s voice is sterner, concerned. “Does Karkat know where you’re at?”

“Yeah, I told him I was with you.”

Dirk’s face is tight with worry.

Dave clarifies. “I told him I was, like. _With_ you. Potentially.”

“What?”

“Like, if… Don’t get me wrong, dude, I didn’t show up here like, oh hey, this shit’s definitely going to go down a particular path or whatever, but he and I, before all this…” Dave gestures vaguely. “ _Vriska_ , I told him, too, if he’s got unfinished whatever, and he thinks he’s not gonna get another chance, he’s got my permission.”

“And that goes both ways?”

Dave snorts. “Be shitty if it didn’t. But yeah, he felt the same way for my shit, if any shit came up, with whomever.”

“Hm.” Dirk seems unconvinced. “Well, it’s your turn, anyway.”

“All right, so, question: do you want me to text Karkat?”

Dirk brings his laced fingers up to cover his mouth. He’s flushed and embarrassed, and when he replies, it’s very quiet. “Are you saying you’re not opposed?”

“I’m saying I am so the fuck not opposed to this idea in the slightest, if it’s cool with you. And him.”

Dirk spends a few seconds staring into his shades more intensely than he was before. Dave waits patiently until he speaks again. “Yeah, okay. Ask Karkat.”

Dave gets out his phone and begins typing words into Pesterchum. Dirk stays fixated on the screen of his shades, his head turning occasionally when Dave’s phone makes sound effects as messages are sent and replied to. Dave smiles to himself as he texts; Dirk thinks it’s fucking endearing.

“Okay, yeah, see?” Dave holds the phone up so Dirk can see the screen, and offers it to him to hold. “You can scroll up and shit, it’s fine. I trust you.”

Dirk takes the phone and reads the most recent section of the chatlog.

TG: yo  
TG: hows it going with the ol snake lady  
CG: I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW.  
TG: why not  
CG: I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE’S SAYING.  
CG: SHE’S TALKING TO KANAYA AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A PILE OF DISCOUNT WINDCHIMES THAT DECIDED TO HAVE AN ORGY  
TG: hot  
CG: NOT PARTICULARLY. JUST CONFUSING.  
TG: hot and confusing sounds like my life  
CG: WELL YOU’RE NOT WRONG  
TG: so speaking of  
TG: remember what we were talking about before  
CG: WE TALK ABOUT ALL SORTS OF SHIT, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.  
TG: yknow the whole  
TG: vriskas gonna get our asses handed to us lethal style  
TG: aspect  
CG: YEAH.  
TG: ok well somethings come up and i want to make sure shits cool with you  
CG: ARE YOU OK?  
TG: yeah im fine  
TG: dirk wants to suck my dick  
TG: is that cool  
CG: WHOA, REALLY?  
TG: yeah  
CG: SO I TAKE IT THAT WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED  
CG: I KNOW YOU WERE FREAKED OUT ABOUT IT.  
TG: shits going really well actually  
TG: but im not gonna do shit if youre not giving a gigantic thumbs up in this direction  
TG: he cant see the screen fwiw  
TG: but hes saying like  
TG: hes extremely concerned about you being ok w/ it  
TG: i told him we already talked about this btw  
TG: im not trying to put you on the spot im just double checking  
CG: YEAH I MEAN  
CG: WE ALREADY WENT OVER THIS.  
CG: I HAVE ZERO FAITH THAT VRISKA’S BATTLE STRATEGY WON’T GET US DOUBLE MURDERED.  
CG: SO AT THIS POINT IT’S WHATEVER.  
CG: YOU’RE NOT UPSETTING ME.  
CG: TELL DIRK HE’S A FUCKING GENTLEMAN  
TG: thats what im hoping  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?  
TG: what  
CG: YOU SHOULD TELL HIM ABOUT THE THING YOU LIKE.  
TG: which one  
CG: YOU KNOW THE ONE  
TG: theres a lot of shit i like so like you just said youre gonna have to be less vague  
CG: OK, THEN JUST SELECT SOMETHING RANDOMLY.  
CG: KANAYA’S TRYING TO TALK TO ME, HANG ON.  
CG: OR YOU KNOW WHAT, I’LL JUST TALK TO YOU LATER.  
CG: I THINK ECHIDNA IS MAD THAT I’M ON MY PHONE  
CG: AT ANY RATE, YOU’RE FINE  
CG: HAVE FUN  
TG: thanks  
TG: good luck dude  
CG: YOU TOO

Dirk smiles, reassured. “Next question. What’s the thing you like?”

“Sometimes we dress up like Santa for each other, because that’s what bros do.”

“Do trolls have Santa?”

Dave shrugs.

“Well, I’m gratified to know that _Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff_ is an important component of your sex life.”

“Right, exactly.” Dave laughs. “Shit, let’s bang Santa.”

“It’s important for your creative work to be related to your own experience. Write what you know.”

“Is that where all your weird double roses and hand holding came from? Is that a significant aspect of your sexcapades?”

Dirk shrugs, too. “The cake might be. Also, eating babies.”

Dave feigns a moan. “Oh my god, how did you know?”

“What, eating babies?”

“And cakes. I have a specific fetish for swallowing those little plastic Jesuses in Mardi Gras cakes.”

“You’re sexually aroused by King Cakes.”

“No, only the democratically elected kind.”

“I see.”

Dave puts his index and middle fingers into a V, gestures to his own eyes, then to Dirk’s, and back. “I see you too, man. I know you’re a Prince. Don’t think that’s gonna change my outlook on hierarchical bullshit. I’m best friends with the Mayor, and he knows what’s up. Fuck royalty.”

Dirk wags his eyebrows. “Was that the idea?”

Dave laughs.

Dirk continues. “I think maybe he’s biased, given his particular position, but anyway. How about a president?”

“What, like the cheese?”

“Sure, that too.”

“I will have sex with cheese. Make that shit a nancho party.”

Dirk nods solemnly. “That shit’s white hot. White cheddar hot. I am aroused.”

“Next time I will coat my dick in queso dip, just for you. It’ll look questionable as hell before I even blow a load.”

“Sexy. Someone call the Ghostbusters. There’s a scary-ass cheese [ghost leaving ectoplasm](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Over_Logging) everywhere.”

“Oh my god, don’t tell John.”

“Should I not make a Gushers joke, then?”

Dave sets his phone carefully on the ground (if the rooftop can rightfully be called the ground) and finally scoots in closer to Dirk. “You wanna [taste my blast in your mouth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J34-RLHGISg)? Is that what?”

“At the risk of sounding incredibly thirsty, uh. Yeah.” Dirk looks at the way the green sky reflects off Dave’s shades and tries not to think about Ben Stiller too much. (Rest in peace.) “Yeah, I really do.”

“Then… some other 90’s joke. I dunno. You can totally suck my dick, is my point.”

“Sounds good to me.”

They sit quietly for another long moment, both listening to their breathing, but not making a move. There’s a massive crack of lightning, and they flinch, huddled towards each other. Dave scoots further into Dirk’s personal space, until he’s leaning even closer, his body inclined towards Dirk.

“You can touch me, you know.”

Dirk bites his lip again. “Okay.”

Dave’s expression softens. “It’s okay if you’re having second thoughts, dude, you don’t gotta—”

“You’re so fucking handsome in person,” Dirk blurts. “I spent so much time watching your movies, they were all I had left in the apartment for a really long time, and I just…” He lifts his hand to gently run his fingertips across Dave’s cheek, then down along his jawline. “I read every interview, from every ancient fansite that had scanned magazine articles. I looked at shit on goddamn GeoCities. I tracked down digital fucking microfiche.”

“Uh.” Dave laughs, quietly. “Wow. Really?”

“I wanted so badly to be as cool as you. That was like, all I wanted, every day of my life.” He smiles. “I mean, not literally everything, but it was a big deal to me. So getting to be here is kind of…”

“Fucking nuts?”

“Yeah.”

Dave leans his head towards Dirk’s touch and closes his eyes behind his shades. “I’m not that guy, but I’m glad I can be here for you and shit.”

“I know you’re not him,” Dirk says, fondly. “You’re better, because you’re not some idealized fantasy person. You’re just you, and you’re here, talking to me. And that’s what I want most of all.”

“My god, this flattery is getting you everywhere, sir.” Dave exhales slowly, through his nose. Dirk’s hand is warm. “Fuckin’ smooth.”

Dave’s eyes are still closed when Dirk presses a kiss to his forehead, careful to keep his chin from nudging the priceless shades. 

Dave laughs again, giddy, and looks up at Dirk. “You really are trying to sweep me off my goddamned feet, aren’t you?”

“Good thing you’re sitting down.”

“You gotta ride in on a horse for that shit.”

“I’ll work on it. I promise I’ll do better next time.”

“Or,” Dave suggests, “you can kiss me.”

“I’ll kiss you where the sun don’t shine.” His face is very close, close enough that Dave can feel Dirk’s breath on his face. “Not that the sun is shining anywhere much, currently.”

“No way, dude. I already told you, everybody else was giving me rimjobs. Hook me up with your blunt teeth.”

Dirk responds by taking Dave’s lower lip between his teeth. Dave lets out a breathy gasp and makes a startled, pleased noise that encourages Dirk to run his gloved hand back from Dave’s face to the nape of his neck, to support his head and brush his fingertips into his hair.

“Holy fuck, I am so fuckin’ wooed right now.” Dave shifts his weight and reaches up to put his arms around Dirk’s shoulders. Dirk puts his arms around Dave’s back, until Dave may as well be lying in Dirk’s lap. “Motherfucking _swoon_.”

“You’re really important to me,” Dirk gushes, his voice nearly cracking. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Aw, dude.” Dave rubs one hand in a small circle on Dirk’s back, over the fabric of his cape.

Dirk takes off his shades and sets them down, then buries his face in Dave’s hair, his body shaking. Dave twists himself around so he can curl his arms around Dirk more securely, and holds him while he tries to get his breathing back under control.

“I’m sorry,” Dirk murmurs.

“You don’t gotta be.” Dave kisses Dirk’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

Dirk’s so unaccustomed to this sort of conversation that he makes a strangled sound and starts in with trembling, wracked sobs against the side of Dave’s face. Dave sits up fully and pulls Dirk into a protective embrace, and lets Dirk rest his head on his shoulder, instead.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Dave.” Dirk shakes his head. “I’m fucking awful, I can’t just… I can’t just tell you this shit like a normal fucking person, it has to be this fucking…” He stops to sniff back mucus. “Even after all that, after we talked and it was so good, it was so honest, I have to fucking pull this embarrassing shit.”

“You’re okay, man.” Dave pets his hair. “Say whatever you gotta say. I’m listening.”

[ ](http://68.media.tumblr.com/379e96358f712a821a42c34c532aff52/tumblr_oji8kcrFXt1vth5d3o1_1280.png)

“I can’t just tell you, you know?” Dirk wipes at his face with the heel of his palm. “It’s gotta be, fucking, oh hey, let’s invent some bullshit excuse for me to offer you sexual favors, because that’s apparently the only fucking way anyone thinks I know how to communicate.”

“Hey, hey, you’re fine. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“I just…” Dirk snorts again. It’s kind of gross. “It’s just the only way I could think to show, yo, here’s proof you mean something to me. It’s so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” Dave squeezes his arms tightly around him. Dirk huddles against his chest. Their legs are a tangled mess and it’s not particularly comfortable. “You’re just doing your best, dude.”

Dirk sighs heavily, shakily. “I guess.”

Dave presses a kiss to Dirk’s hair. He smells like hair product. “You don’t gotta do anything you don’t want to. [A kiss is not a contract](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iSlPoQm2XY).”

“God, that’s what’s so fucked up, though.” Dirk finally lifts his head, and wipes at his eyes again. “I still totally want to suck your dick, but who the fuck wants a fucking snot monster going down on them?”

Dave shrugs, smiling into Dirk’s hair. “I dunno, man. I mean. I’ve had my face in troll nook, so.”

Dirk chuckles. “Well. Same.”

Dave tries to stop himself from mentally calculating which troll or trolls Dirk could’ve possibly been with. None of his fuckin’ beeswax. Dirk would’ve specified if he’d wanted to. “You can still do whatever you wanna do, and you don’t gotta do anything else. It’s all good with me.”

Dirk pulls away enough to take off his cape. He uses the garment to wipe at his face; his skin is still red and puffy from crying, but he manages to smile at Dave anyway, and sets the cape next to his shades. “All right, well. I’ve spent large portions of my life thinking about sucking dick, and I really want to suck a dick.” He leaves the implied _before anything happens_ unspoken. “And I want to suck _your_ dick, specifically, because I like you. So.”

Dave lets out a flustered huff of breath. “You can still do that. I’m down with that.” 

Dirk kisses Dave’s cheek again. Dirk’s skin is still kind of clammy from crying. “I promise I won’t cry while I’m blowing you. That’d be weird.” 

“Should I start quoting VAST? I dunno, man, if you’re into that…” Dave shrugs. “Ain’t judging.” 

“I’m into plenty of weird things,” Dirk admits, “but weeping onto somebody’s ballsack is not one of them.” 

“That’d be the most bizarre instance of blue balls ever. That’s assuming the tears are actually blue, like it’s a goddamn cartoon, or whatever.” 

“You’re not being very culturally sensitive,” Dirk points out. 

“Oh shit, damn.” Dave cranes his neck to look above them. “He didn’t hear me, did he?” 

“Probably not. I won’t tell him about your faux pas.” 

“You’re a true pal.” 

Dirk looks vulnerable, with redness around his eyes, and the fact that his eyes are visible at a glance whatsoever. “So, should I just... sort of...?” 

“Yeah.” Dave settles back, with his legs stretched out in front of him, and his hands braced against the rooftop. “Yeah, um. Do your thing.” 

Hesitant, Dirk reaches out with his left hand to touch Dave’s chest, right on top of the time symbol of his god tier attire. He rubs lightly at Dave’s chest for a few seconds, then lets his hand fall. He glances to his shades. 

“Hang on.” 

Dirk reaches over for his shades and puts them back on. A long moment passes, and Dave can tell that Dirk is focusing on _something_ , because he’s looking into the shades, not through them. 

“Everything okay?” he asks. 

“Hear me out,” Dirk begins. “Um, I know this is kind of out of nowhere, and probably weird since I just wept all over you and generally cocked this shit up, but. Like.” 

“What? What’s up?” 

Dirk looks incredibly sheepish. “Do you mind if I film this?” 

Dave barks out a laugh before he can stop himself. “I, uh, what? I mean, um.” He scratches at the side of his head. “Just because alternate Dave liked to be in movies doesn’t mean that I...” His face is totally flushed. “Well, not that I _don’t_ see the appeal, but, um.” 

“I wasn’t gonna ask for you to show your face or anything, just if we could film _me_.” 

“Let’s not rule anything out,” Dave counters. “I’m not saying no, I’m saying... uh, who’s the audience? You?” 

Dirk presses his lips together and makes a face that Dave thinks is halfway between an embarrassed grin and something resembling chagrin. “Remember when I said I don’t have any secret crushes?” 

Dave does grin. “Are you amending that statement?” 

Dirk is suddenly very interested in the details of the rooftop they’re sitting on. “Maybe.” 

Dave puts his fist under his chin, playing up his level of intrigue. Not that he’s _not_ interested. “Do go on.” 

“I mean, it’s not _technically_ a crush.” 

“No?” 

Dirk licks his lips, self-conscious. He laughs a little. “Yeah, like, if you’re... a _thing_ already, does that count as just a crush?” 

Dave shrugs. “How secret is it?” 

“Pretty fuckin’ secret.” 

Dave pinches his index finger and thumb together and draws them across his mouth. Zuipperpips. 

“Okay, so, it’s not anybody that you know.” 

“They don’t mind that you’re doing this?” 

“He, uh.” Dirk pushes his shades up on his nose. “He also thinks you’re really hot.”

A wave of heat settles into Dave’s gut. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and he... if it’s cool with you, obviously, he’s hoping I can stream video from my shades to him so he can pretend that he’s... yeah.”

“Are you streaming right now?”

Dirk shakes his head.

“You gotta give me a way to say hi to my secret admirer, yo.”

“You want me to turn it on right now?” Dirk chews on his lip, hesitant. “So you’re definitely all right with that?”

“I am definitely hella good with your special somedude getting in on this action, on two conditions.” Dave takes his Stiller shades off and sets them on Dirk’s cape, slightly off to the side. “One, you save the file so Karkat can watch it later if he wants to.”

“Yeah, that’s no problem.”

“And two, you let me wear your shades for at least part of it so we get two different camera angles.”

Dirk smiles, slyly. “What was that about you not being a director in this universe?”

“Shhh.” Dave grabs for his phone and holds it in his left hand. “You cool with me texting some choice movie stills to Karkat while we’re shooting?”

“While you’re shooting your load?”

“That too. Might need a Steadicam for that shit, though.”

“You need a really strong arm to actually _use_ a Steadicam,” Dirk points out. “Should we ask ARquiusprite?”

Dave lifts his eyebrows rapidly, suggestively. “I got reasons for having strong as fuck arms. Jacking-off reasons.”

“I gathered as much.”

“Gather some fuckin’ raw footage, dude. _Throbbing Heartthrob Gives Princely Head_ , next up on SkaianSuckers dot com.”

Dirk snickers. “Let’s remember to register that domain name. I’m gonna turn on the recording, okay?”

“You should turn me on, too.”

“That’s the plan.”

“The plan is to give me a boner,” Dave quotes, for whatever Nicolas Cage is worth in this instance. “And I got one.”

Dirk glances down to confirm this. “Really?”

There’s a red light blinking at the edge of Dirk’s shades, just next to where the temple connects to the lens. Dave presses his hands flat to the rooftop and lifts his hips. “Really really.”

Dirk bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, we’re gonna seduce everybody with this shit. Jesus. _Snake Eyes_ and _Shrek_ in the span of a minute.”

“Shrek is love and life, fucker.” Dave wiggles his hips. “Suuuck my diiiick.”

“[What a meaningful conversation](http://undertale.wikia.com/wiki/Moldsmal).”

“I should be having a conversation with your lucky guy.” Dave waves to Dirk’s face. “What up! How’s life in the internet?”

Dirk stares into the shades for a brief moment, then smiles. “He says you look good in your time-godly attire.”

“That didn’t answer my question, but okay.” Dave hooks his fingers into the waistband of his pajama pants and starts to tug them down. “Does he think I’d look better out of it?”

“He says...” Dirk pauses as he reads what is evidently a lot of text. “He’s talking about male human boners, whatever the fuck _those_ are.”

“Can he not hear you?”

“Oh, he can.” Dirk grins. “He also knows I’m just giving him shit.”

“You’re giving him shit and giving me head, and I hope the fuck to christ those two things are mutually exclusive on a literal level.”

“You gotta keep ‘em separated, for sure.”

There’s a marked difference in Dirk’s posture; he’s at ease, laughing freely and moving comfortably. Dave can’t help but wonder if it’s because his mystery friend is there for moral support, or because Dave’s making a lot of dumb jokes, or both. He hopes it’s both.

He likes seeing Dirk happy.

“Are you going for an Offspring reference _and_ some kind of ‘time is dead kids’ joke, here? Two times, bullshit combo-bob?”

Dirk shrugs, and speaks facetiously. “What can I say, wanton violence makes me hard.”

“Oh my shit, same.” 

For a split second, Dirk hesitates. Dave watches the small red light flashing, and tries to keep his breathing steady. He’s determined to look good on camera, even if their very specific target demographic is already completely on board.

“Okay, you know what?” Dirk says, at last. “I’m just gonna do it. I’m just gonna go for it.”

Dave nods to him. “Yeah. Yeah, man, whatever you wanna do.”

Dirk reads something in his shades, seems flustered, and laughs under his breath. “Um. Yeah. Here goes.”

He lowers himself to the rooftop, his weight resting on his hip as he lies down between Dave’s legs. With one hand on Dave’s thigh, he dips his head towards Dave’s crotch and hovers there.

“What’s he saying?” Dave asks.

“He’s saying if I don’t suck your dick soon he’s gonna figure out a way to get over here and help a bro out himself.”

“I like the cut of his jib.” Dave rests his right hand on Dirk’s shoulder and presses his thumb into his muscle in small, reassuring circles. “And I hope he likes what he sees. I mean, hell, I hope _you_ like what you’re seeing, too.”

“I like this so much,” Dirk breathes, his lips very close to Dave’s pajamas, “that I want to be so close up, that you’re out of focus.”

“You do you for a while, then, and then I’ll take over as key grip for glasses or whatever the fuck.”

“I’ll do _you_.”

“Okay, yeah. Whenever you’re feeling up to it, just go ahead and—” 

Dirk digs his fingers into Dave’s thigh and presses his lips against his erection, through the fabric of his pants. Dave’s hold on Dirk’s shoulder tightens in the same instant that his sentence falters.

“God, you weren’t kidding,” Dirk murmurs. “Oh, fuck, you don’t even fucking know how badly I’ve wanted this.”

Dave laughs. “I... yeah, I think I can relate, if you wanna maybe trade off down the road, here.”

“I could make a road head joke,” Dirk sighs, “or I can get this going already.”

“Status is green, sir.”

Dirk stops talking and pulls down the waistband of Dave’s pajamas, enough to guide his dick out into the open air. Without any further uncertainty, he gets his right hand in a loose fist at the base, and takes the rest of it into his mouth. The sound Dirk makes is something Dave equates with hyperbolic food advertisements, but in this case, it speaks to a level of craving and satisfaction that very little else would be able to fulfill.

“Jesus fuck,” Dave breathes.

Dirk moans around his dick, and starts sucking rhythmically, running his tongue along the underside, obviously relieved and relishing the feel and taste of having Dave in his mouth. He shifts slightly to tilt his own hips towards Dave’s leg, where it’s outstretched and very close to Dirk’s crotch.

Dave nudges his shin between Dirk’s thighs and lets him frot shallowly against him. Dirk squeezes at Dave’s ass.

“I’m officially taking a photo, if that’s all right.”

Dirk nods and makes an _mhm_ that resonates in Dave’s dick. He holds his phone up to get a good angle, and takes several shots until he gets one that isn’t blurry. It’s an accomplishment, with how much Dirk is already bobbing his head, but that’s the shit burst mode was for in the first place.

“God, you’re fucking hot,” Dave praises. “You’re hot, your mouth is hot, this whole thing’s fucking hot as fuck.”

Dirk moves his gloved hand away and holds onto both of Dave’s thighs before sliding his lips down as far as he can go, until Dave’s pubes are in his nose and his glans is hitting his gag reflex. Dirk swallows around him, and Dave’s phone makes a few more snapshot sound effects. Dave uses his free hand to thread his fingers through Dirk’s hair, encouraging and affectionate. He sets the phone down for the time being.

“Y’know,” he says, his breath catching as he speaks, “your dude’s not gonna be able to see much if you’re stabbing my stomach with those shades.”

Dirk pulls off his cock gradually, sucking up his own saliva as he lifts his head, and presses a kiss to Dave’s glans where it’s still mostly sheathed by his foreskin. He looks up at Dave, through the shades as they record Dave’s expression, and speaks with a tone that conveys utter contentment. “This is so fucking good.”

“Yeah?” Dave reaches down to carefully take the shades off Dirk’s face, and put them on his own. He adjusts their position until they feel correct on his nose, and looks at Dirk looking up at him, his cheeks flushed, exhaling hotly onto his dick as wetness evaporates off it. “Is sucking dick everything you dreamed of?”

“You feel so fucking good in my mouth.” Dirk stares directly at Dave’s eyes, and directly into the camera, as he licks slowly at Dave’s glans. “All I fucking want is to keep sucking you off.”

Lime green text starts scrolling enthusiastically across Dave’s field of vision.

“Is this Green Karkat?” Dave asks, unsure if he’s supposed to be reading anything. He deliberately looks past the chatlog and keeps his focus on Dirk’s face so the text stays out of focus. “He’s all capslock commando over here.”

“You can talk to him if you want,” Dirk assures him. “He likes you, and so do I, so.”

“If he likes you this much, we gotta have some shit in common.”

Dirk snorts, amused. “Oh, you have no idea.”

“His text is like almost the same as Jade’s, what the hell.” Dave allows his eyes to focus back on the screen. “You’re not secretly yiffing Jade, are you?”

“I am not secretly yiffing Jade, no.”

“Aight. Lemme see what he’s sending you.”

Dirk closes his eyes and flicks his tongue across Dave’s glans, then his frenulum. Dave shudders, and tries his best to concentrate on something other than Dirk’s efforts.

uu: THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. IS ONE HELL OF A *MONEY AS FUCK* ALPHA MALE ACTION CHANNEL.  
uu: IT’S LIKE. WHO EVEN KNEW? WHO EVEN KNEW YOU COULD BE IN THE SAME PLACE.  
uu: DOUBLE YOUR DUDES. DOUBLE YOUR FUN. LIKE SOME... HUMAN CANDY THING, THAT YOU JOKED ABOUT ONCE.  
uu: AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF FAKE INTERNET CURRENCY. WOULD BE WELL SPENT PAYING FOR ACCESS TO THIS FOOTAGE.  
uu: THIS IS SOME PRIMO PORNOGRAPHY IN MY OPINION. AND MINE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS.  
uu: BESIDES PRESUMABLY YOURS ALSO. (DUH.)  
uu: YOU SHOULD TELL DAVE THAT I AM ADMIRING HIS HUMAN “NAVEL” IN A CLOSE-UP WAY I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT TO CONSIDER.  
uu: TELL HIM ALSO. THAT I WOULD PUT MY TONGUE TO GOOD USE. IF HE EVER FEELS LIKE THAT’S A THING HE WOULD ENTERTAIN.  
uu: OR MAYBE DON’T TELL HIM THAT? IF YOU THINK THAT IT WOULD BE WEIRD.  
uu: I DON’T KNOW.  
uu: HOW DOES HE FEEL ABOUT SNAKES.  
TG: hi clonekat  
TG: snakes are fine with me but how do you feel about kangaroo rats  
uu: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.  
TG: how about the north american hollering phallus baboon  
uu: OK NO I REMEMBER THAT ONE. WHEN YOU TALKED TO THE PLUCKY STRUMPET.  
uu: YOU’RE REFERRING TO HUMANITY.  
TG: yeah you got me  
TG: anyway hi  
uu: YEAH. HI.  
TG: enjoying the show  
uu: A LOT, ACTUALLY.  
TG: same  
uu: I FUCKING HOPE SO. YOU HAVE THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE.  
TG: i dunno dude i think youve got a pretty good setup while viewing from home  
TG: nothing compares to the live show though youre right  
uu: I AM SO FUCKING JEALOUS RIGHT NOW.

Dave’s blood runs cold for a miserable fraction of a second, before he receives the next line.

uu: OF BOTH OF YOU.  
uu: THIS IS FUCKING HOT TO WATCH.  
TG: hey you wanna try something  
uu: TRY WHAT?  
TG: its a question and answer thing  
TG: sort of like a game  
uu: I AM ALL THE FUCK ABOUT GAMES.  
TG: this is called the lightning round because dirk and i are on lotak and theres lightning  
TG: thats not why its called that but im retroactively inventing a point of origin for its title  
uu: HOW DOES IT GO?  
TG: i ask you a question  
TG: then you ask me one  
TG: and we go back and forth until we start playing gay chicken probably  
uu: INCREDIBLE.  
uu: AREN’T YOU TOO BUSY RIGHT NOW TO PLAY A GAME?

Dave uses his right hand to stroke through Dirk’s hair as he sucks and licks at him. Dirk’s pace has calmed; he’s taking his time to savor the experience. No sense in getting Dave off _too_ quickly.

TG: naw im good  
TG: dirks entertaining himself  
uu: OK.  
uu: YOU CAN GO FIRST. I GUESS.  
TG: lightning rounds arent usually supposed to get personal right away but given the circumstances im gonna fast track it  
TG: are you being good to dirk  
uu: YES.  
TG: like are you  
TG: oh  
TG: i was gonna clarify  
uu: YES. I CARE ABOUT HIM. IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE ASKING.  
TG: ok  
TG: because he deserves nice shit in his life  
uu: YOU WILL FIND THAT I AM THE NICEST SHIT OUT THERE.  
uu: WELL. SOME ARGUE. THAT MAY NOT BE THE CASE. AS FAR AS ACTUAL NICENESS.  
uu: BUT I’M FUCKING GREAT. AND SO IS HE.  
TG: and youre great together i take it  
uu: FUCK YES.  
TG: ok thats good enough for me  
uu: IS IT MY TURN?  
TG: yeah go  
uu: IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP CANONICAL YET?  
TG: what  
uu: YOU AND YOUR SHOUTING GRAY TROLL.  
uu: YOU ARE MY OTP.  
TG: what  
uu: WHOSE TURN IS IT TO ASK QUESTIONS? MINE.  
TG: jeez i havent even used a surprise noodle  
TG: ok uh  
TG: i was talking to dirk about that right before the cock gargling got started  
TG: but yeah like karkats cool with this too if thats what youre trying to get at  
uu: I HAVE A LOT OF PERSONAL INVESTMENT IN SEEING YOUR RELATIONSHIP SUCCEED.  
TG: thats  
TG: yknow what ok thats fine  
TG: i appreciate the support  
TG: i cant really be too weirded out by much rn  
TG: i feel too good  
TG: so im not gonna inquire as to the particulars of how you know that shit or why you care  
TG: im just gonna accept it  
TG: my turn  
uu: YEAH.  
TG: you mentioned snakes  
uu: YES. I DID.  
TG: so are you like the snake troll or something  
TG: everybody else is the fucking zodiac with the horse guy and the bull dude and whatever else  
TG: was karkat lying  
TG: was the whole dream bubble shit with troll brigade round two just a bunch of irrelevant fucks we can disregard  
TG: and all along youve been the secret thirteenth troll from the original expansion pak  
TG: the snakefucker from beyond the stars  
TG: whats that one even called like  
TG: orpheus  
TG: ozymandias  
uu: OPHIUCHUS.  
TG: yeah that  
uu: I AM NO TROLL.  
TG: hm  
TG: ok  
TG: so your blood color has nothing to do with your font  
uu: NO.  
uu: NOT EXACTLY.  
TG: good because that shit is dumb  
TG: like D U M B dumb  
TG: spelled out like by cheerleaders maybe  
TG: everybody should type in whatever the fuck text color they want  
uu: YES. I AGREE.  
uu: EVEN IF IT IS SOMEONE ELSE’S COLOR.  
TG: sure yeah who even cares  
uu: I’M GLAD WE SEE EYE TO EYE.  
TG: you can see my eyes but i cant see yours  
uu: GIVE IT TIME.  
uu: YOU ASKED TWO QUESTIONS. SO I GET TWO.  
TG: thats fine  
uu: HOW DOES HIS MOUTH FEEL ON YOU?

Dave lets his focus rest again on Dirk’s face. Dirk has his eyes closed, and is petting at Dave’s thigh while he sucks his dick. Sweat clings to both of them, on Dirk’s forehead and on Dave’s legs inside his pajamas. 

“You doing okay?” Dave asks, fondly.

Dirk nods, and pulls off just long enough to answer, smiling. “I’m good. I’m enjoying myself and I hate rushing when I don’t have to.”

“Your dude and I are in a lightning round.”

“Oh yeah?” Dirk licks from the base of Dave’s dick all the way up to the head in one slow stroke. “How’s that going?”

Dave lets out a soft sigh and rolls his hips towards Dirk. “Mm. He wants me to tell him about how this feels.”

“Well...” Dirk smiles up at Dave, and lowers his lips to the tip of his cock while maintaining eye contact. “Maybe you should tell him.”

Dirk uses his thumb and index finger to gently roll back Dave’s foreskin, and starts licking circles around the underside as it’s exposed. Dave shudders and bucks his hips towards Dirk’s mouth.

TG: oh god dude he feels amazing  
TG: his tongue is so fucking good  
TG: like  
TG: this is a guy who really wants to suck a dick  
TG: i havent had a lot of people suck my dick but i feel like you gotta know right  
TG: you can tell  
TG: and you dont get head like this from somebody whos not feelin it  
uu: GIVE ME SOME DETAILS.  
TG: his mouth is wet and hot like an american summer  
TG: everybody else who ever tried going down on me had crazy sharp teeth  
TG: he keeps going in to deep throat me  
TG: like hes got dirt on nixon  
TG: like hes gonna get associated with pubes more than scott tenorman  
TG: im trying real hard not to just jizz on his tongue right this second  
TG: fuck  
uu: DO YOU THINK HE’S ATTRACTIVE?

Dave looks at Dirk, who’s got his eyelashes lowered, his lips swollen and wet with saliva, his cheeks hollowed as he ups the suction. There’s sweat on his face, where his bangs fall, mussed, across his forehead while he leans over Dave’s lap. His god tier attire rests softly on the curve of his back, the sloping, slight rise of his hips and ass, the fabric of his tights stretched over his thigh as his thigh hooks over Dave’s shin.

Dave’s chest feels tight.

TG: fuck yeah  
TG: obviously  
TG: duh  
uu: I WONDER IF HE’D MIND ME SHARING WITH YOU ALL THE PHOTOS HE’S SENT ME.  
TG: of what  
uu: OF HIMSELF.  
uu: AND SOME TRULY PORNOGRAPHIC ORIGINAL ARTWORK. WROUGHT BY HIS OWN FILTHY HAND.  
TG: oh shit  
TG: i mean  
TG: if he wants to share then yeah but itll have to be later  
TG: hes too good to look away from even if its to admire past dirk  
uu: I HAVE SPENT A LOT OF TIME ADMIRING PAST DIRK.  
TG: like how  
uu: TO PUT IT BLUNTLY:  
uu: HE AND I LIKE TO GET OFF TOGETHER.  
TG: mmm  
TG: good  
TG: thats good shit  
TG: whatre friends for right  
uu: IS HE GETTING YOU OFF?  
TG: hes about to  
TG: its my turn to ask a question though  
TG: lets just dual wield it  
TG: ultra rapid fire lightning round and we each get two  
TG: are you getting off on this  
uu: YES.  
TG: has he blown you before  
uu: HE HAS INDICATED TIME AND AGAIN THAT HE WISHES HE COULD. BUT WE HAVE NOT YET HAD THE OPPORTUNITY.  
uu: HOW MUCH LONGER CAN YOU LAST?  
TG: not much  
TG: im starting to get that stomach butterflies thing going on pretty fuckin consistently  
TG: he said you were gonna pretend you were involved  
TG: are you pretending that hes sucking you off  
uu: NO.  
TG: what are you pretending then  
uu: I’M PRETENDING THAT MY TONGUE IS ON YOU.

Dave gasps, and lets out a throaty moan both at the suggestive imagery in his mind’s eye and the very real and present sensation of Dirk’s tongue fluttering at his glans. Everything feels tight and hot, under pressure; Dave flexes his toes in his shoes and grasps at Dirk’s hair to urge him closer. 

uu: HE FANTASIZES ABOUT HAVING HIS HAIR PULLED.  
uu: YOU SHOULD COMPLIMENT HIM ALSO. TELL HIM HE’S DOING A GOOD JOB.

“You’re gonna fuckin’ make me come,” Dave sighs, threading his fingers through Dirk’s hair and then tugging at it, just shy of roughly. 

Dirk lets out a shaky breath through his nose, and presses his visibly straining erection against Dave’s leg. Dave meets his movement and rocks his shin between Dirk’s legs, and yanks his hair. Dirk moans around Dave’s dick, sucking hard.

“You’re gonna make me come, and your fuckfriend is jacking off to us, too. I fuckin’ hope for his sake that the microphone is picking all this up.”

uu: YES.  
uu: I CAN HEAR HIS MOUTH ON YOU.  
uu: I CAN HEAR BOTH OF YOU BREATHING.  
TG: are you hard  
uu: VERY MUCH SO.  
TG: are you close  
uu: YES.

“Okay, yeah, so he’s gonna fuckin’ lose it, too. He can hear you slurping on me and we’re talking about how smokin’ hot you are while you’re cocksmoking.” Dave gropes around for his phone, and lifts his left hand shakily to take a few more pictures, but it’s tricky to navigate or stabilize with one hand. He quickly gives up and sets the phone down once again so he can get both of his hands in Dirk’s hair, his stomach muscles tensing. “Oh god, _fuck_ , don’t fuckin’ stop, I’m fucking—”

Dirk starts bobbing his head, faster, sure to keep enough spit worked up to keep Dave moving smoothly and slickly between his lips. He keeps his gloved right hand fisted at the base of Dave’s dick, jerking him securely but slowly, so as not to chafe his skin. His left hand kneads at Dave’s thigh where it meets his ass. 

Dave can feel the press of Dirk’s erection against his leg, and it’s with a rush of heat to his gut that he wonders how Dirk will want to get himself off after this. Dave’s got plenty of suggestions.

“I’m gonna come,” Dave says, urgently. “I’m gonna come, if you don’t wanna—”

Dirk seals his mouth completely over Dave’s dick and sucks harder, his tongue pressed against the underside of the head, and keeps his mouth moving but very much in place as Dave’s hips jolt upward and he ejaculates onto Dirk’s tongue. He relaxes as Dave tenses, pleased with himself for giving Dave pleasurable head, satisfied with his spunk filling his mouth, with quick spurts hitting his tongue as Dave pulses between his lips.

He feels hot.

“Dirk, holy fuck.” Dave pets his hair, grateful and gasping. “Oh my god, you’re still, uh. You’re really into this, huh?”

Dirk swallows everything down, saliva and semen alike, and only pulls off when Dave flinches back, hypersensitive. Dirk licks around in his mouth, the taste lingering with a faintly basic tingling on his tongue. He’s not at all unfamiliar with how it tastes, but having another person involved is a new aspect.

He kisses Dave’s stomach, next to his pubes, and rests his head on Dave’s hip. “God, yeah. That was good.”

Dave can’t help himself and continues to pet Dirk’s hair, glad to openly shower him with affection. “Hey, so. Thanks for the orgasm. That shit was quality.”

“Mm. Thank _you_ for letting me suck your dick.”

Dave laughs. “Well, fuck, man. Anytime.”

They spend the next few moments listening to each other’s breathing. The lightning storm hasn’t ceased, but Dave feels safer here, now, despite their exposure to the sky. Dirk hugs Dave’s waist, low and loose, his forearms resting on the ground.

“Do you still wanna get off?” Dave asks, uncertain. “I’m totally down for helping you, for whatever you want. I dunno what you’re feeling like.”

There’s an anticipatory thrill that buzzes at the nape of Dave’s neck as he waits for Dirk to reply. For a few seconds, the possibilities are open in front of them like the raunchiest choose-your-own-adventure book ever. Or maybe a standard dating sim, depending. Things that wouldn’t’ve seemed likely options previously are suddenly potential courses of action. Maybe Dirk wants him to return the favor and suck him off. Maybe Dirk wants him to get settled on his cape, face down, ass up. Maybe he wants to pull his pants off and frot against him until Dave’s hard again. Maybe—

“I think I’m gonna jack off,” Dirk says, the answer ironically anticlimactic.

“Oh.” Dave feels a brief burst of disappointment, then reconsiders as he thinks about the practicality of their situation. “Okay, yeah. Yeah. Do you want me to help?”

Dirk shifts until he’s sitting up, sitting between Dave’s spread legs, with his back to Dave’s chest. “I would love your help.”

Dave slides his arms around Dirk’s chest and rests his chin on his shoulder. He’s still reeling from his orgasm, eager to get cozy, and Dirk is warm and solid in front of him. “Lucky for you, we’re in the thunder round.”

“Hm?” Dirk leans his head back against Dave and tilts his face towards Dave’s neck, where he’s highly aware of how much Dave is sweating through his collar. “What’re the rules for the thunder round?”

“Okay, so, it’s a dumb name for a game, but it’s what logically follows, right?”

Dirk kisses Dave’s throat, just below his jaw. “Right.”

“So we already asked each other a bunch of electrifying questions, and now we’re fuck-deep in the part that everyone knows will inevitably follow that line of questioning.”

Dirk laughs. “Because there were sparks and we both agreed to it?”

“And now we’re getting loud.” Dave nuzzles his cheek against Dirk’s temple. “Exactly.”

“And everyone can hear us for miles around.” Dirk brings his hands up to hold Dave’s, where they’re resting across his chest, and sighs contentedly. “Can I have my shades back? You’re gonna stab them into me if we keep sitting like this.”

“Oh shit! I stopped replying to him.”

Dirk kisses at Dave’s throat again and reaches up to reclaim his shades. “I got it. He’s fine, I’m sure.”

Dave takes the shades off and passes them to Dirk, who puts them back on. Dave runs his hands down across Dirk’s chest as Dirk catches up with the conversation.

TT: So.  
TT: How’s it going.  
uu: I SEE HUMAN ENGLAND.  
uu: I SEE HUMAN FRANCE.  
uu: I SEE YOUR DICK TENTING YOUR POOFY ASSHOLE PANTS.  
TT: Yeah, we’re handling that.  
uu: NOT YET, SEEMS LIKE.  
uu: YOU’D BETTER GET ON THAT.  
TT: Or maybe you want to get on it.  
uu: YOU’RE A RIOT.  
uu: YOU KNOW I WOULD, THOUGH.  
TT: I know.  
TT: Enjoying the show?  
uu: OF COURSE.  
uu: DAVE WAS FUN TO TALK TO.  
TT: He is fun to talk to. He’s a good dude.  
TT: He also has a lot of positive responses to having his dick sucked.  
TT: Most importantly, he gives good hair pets.  
uu: I’M HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH. TRULY.  
TT: Happy in your own asshole pants?  
uu: THAT TOO.  
TT: You up for watching some more?  
uu: YOU KNOW I’D NEVER GET SICK OF THIS CHANNEL.  
TT: Stay tuned, then.  
uu: <3

“What’s he saying?”

“He says you’re fun to talk to, and he sent me a heart emoticon.”

“Can I ask lightning round questions in the thunder round?”

Dirk arches back against Dave as Dave runs his hands over Dirk’s chest. “Yeah. It’s a full-on storm now.”

Dave blurts out his question before he loses his nerve. “Does he love you?”

Dirk imagines that his heart has stopped, for the third time thus far—at least, that he’s aware of. He stares at the rippling green clouds, at the way lighting spikes and crackles through them but never spirals. It’s a powerful, assured presence in the sky. Now _his_ chest feels tight, amplified by how gentle Dave’s hands are upon him. He’s highly aware that his glasses are still recording audio, and every movement he makes is being transferred across the multiverse.

He closes his eyes and lets himself relax into the heady warmth that has him smiling, shyly, as he nods confidently and breathes his answer.

“Yes.”

There’s a flash of green in front of his eyes exactly as he speaks his answer, and it’s only when he opens his eyes that he realizes it wasn’t from LOTAK.

uu: YES.  
uu: I DO.

“Good,” says Dave, his lips against the shell of Dirk’s ear. “He oughta.”

“I’m kind of freaking out a little,” Dirk admits. “But uh, at the risk of gushing, I... uh.” 

“Hm?”

“Sorry, I just... I wasn’t expecting this to be the timing, I guess?” Dirk laughs, excited. “I’m, like. Holy shit.”

“Did he hear you?”

“ _He said yes!_ ”

Dave beams and hugs him fiercely from behind. “Y’all are fucking adorable.”

Dirk brings his hands up again to hold onto Dave’s arms and doesn’t stop himself from yelping and kicking his feet against the concrete. Just for a second. Just this once.

[ ](http://68.media.tumblr.com/dea54e994cd4843cc2b06b3d96c6e8c0/tumblr_oji8kcrFXt1vth5d3o4_r1_1280.png)

For Dave, it’s jarring to realize the questions he’s been asking have been filtered through this context, that Dirk’s been in the same vulnerable position that he has, and that he’s just witnessed the exact moment that Dirk’s own uncertainties were assuaged. Maybe his insecurities aren’t insurmountable, after all. Maybe the years of unspoken understanding between himself and Karkat are balanced on the same fence, waiting to tip over onto an attainable greener lawn. Or something like that.

When Dirk’s finished, he’ll text Karkat with updates. Maybe say a few words.

As for now, Dirk’s smiling and staring into his shades, and Dave can feel Dirk’s heart beating against his hand. “What’s he saying?” Dave asks.

“He’s saying,” Dirk starts, amused, “that he can still see my dick in my stupid god tier pants and if I let this distract me from coming, he’s gonna be real fuckin’ sad for me.”

“Did he already get off?”

Dirk hesitates briefly while waiting for a response, then passes it along to Dave. “He says he got off when you got off.”

“Hella.” Dave slides his hands down towards Dirk’s stomach. “Do you still want me to touch you?”

“God, yeah.” Dirk hikes his shirt up so Dave can trail his fingertips over his abs. “I’m feeling all kinds of desirable right now.”

“How many kinds is that?” Dave asks, his fingers moving through the faint line of hair that leads into Dirk’s pubes.

“All of the desire. All of it.”

Dave kisses Dirk’s ear, just beside the temple of his shades, and slips his hand into Dirk’s pants. “I was gonna make some kinda D-Strider versus desire joke but I can’t think of anything that actually works for it.”

“I’ll just imagine you said something clever.” Dirk keeps his eyes on Dave’s hand where it lifts up the fabric of his already poofy pants, occasionally letting his focus settle on the ample words of encouragement and flattery that fill the screen of his shades.

“You’re not laughing hard enough at my excellent comedic performance,” Dave faux-chides. “Laugh harder.”

Dirk begins to feign melodramatic, theatrical laughter, but the sound is cut short and becomes genuine when Dave slides his palm flat across Dirk’s erection, still covered by his underwear and his tights. Dirk moans, breathily, and leans back against Dave, his hips lifting shallowly off the ground.

It’s the first time Dave’s touched a human dick that’s not his own, and it’s at once completely different and exactly the same. On some level, maybe it’s funny that his first in-person experiences were with trolls, and only now is he getting back around to humans. Like he’d had some really choice feelings about human attractiveness that’d been stashed in the back of the pantry and forgotten about behind equally excellent troll stuff, but man, now that he’s rummaged around back there and found it, humanity looks really fucking appealing.

Dave tries to quiet his distracting trains of thought and focuses his attention on feeling on Dirk’s dick, where it’s taut within the stretch fabric of his clothing. He wishes Dirk wasn’t wearing any underwear, so he could appreciate it through the tights and _only_ the tights, then wonders if Dirk would agree to trying that out at some point. Or now.

“Dude, can you pull these down?” Dave asks. “And like... uh.”

Dirk pulls his pants down to his knees, then tugs his underwear and tights down in the same motion. His dick catches on the waistband, briefly, before Dirk resolves the issue and takes himself into his hand for a few quick strokes. His bare ass is on concrete, but given his utter solitude in the risen Atlantic, it’s hardly the first time. “And what?”

“And... can you, like.” Dave hesitates, mildly embarrassed. “Can you pull your tights back up? Just the tights.”

It takes Dirk a moment to catch on. “Oh. _Oh_ , gotcha. Um.” He does his best to shove his underwear down, crumpled enough within the fabric to bunch up against the crotch of the tights. He pulls the tights back up to once again cover his erection, but it’s not quite working out. “Uh, how’s this?”

Dave runs both hands over Dirk’s dick, feeling out the smoothness of the fabric and taking in just how much they do nothing to hide goddamn anything. He rubs at him until Dirk’s sighing softly again, a small but noticeable bead of precome welling at the head of his cock and soaking through the tights.

“This is hot,” Dave murmurs. “You’re fuckin’ hot.”

“Thanks,” Dirk says. “This is cramming my underwear against my balls, though.”

Dave laughs. “Close enough. We tried.”

Dirk snickers a little and pulls everything down and very much away from his thighs altogether. “We made it _hapen_. Thunder round, totally a success.”

Dave returns his hands to touching Dirk’s bare skin, his left hand getting a gentle grip on Dirk’s dick, and his right petting at his hip. “Can we call your dong the thunder from down under?”

“We _can_ , but I don’t know that we should.”

“At least you got pretty, pretty legs.”

Dirk laughs, at the absurdity of it all. “Apparently I do.”

Green text scrolls across his shades, reiterating approval. Dirk keeps his eyes fixed firmly on himself, to ensure the shot is framed appropriately for long-distance viewing, as he personally takes a moment to enjoy the simple novelty of Dave’s hand. His palm is softer than Dirk’s, no doubt from a lack of oceanic apocalypse survival skills callousing his skin, and his efforts are eager but unaccustomed to Dirk’s preferences. 

Dirk covers Dave’s hand with his own to help him set the ideal rhythm for his movements. They move together, the planet placid for a brief while, the lightning infrequent and far-off, the grist rig stilled at last. Dave learns the length of Dirk’s favorite strokes, the right way to work his erection until he’s panting, until his thighs are tensing, until Dirk lifts Dave’s hand off his dick and guides his grip up to his throat.

“Hmm?” Dave says, unsure. “Too much?”

“Uh, so, like you wanted with the tights.” Dirk tilts his head back and holds Dave’s fingers against his throat, his own right hand returned to his dick. “Can you choke me a little?”

Dave presses his cheek against Dirk’s hair, his gut twisting, and shakes his head apologetically. He keeps his fingertips delicately resting on Dirk’s neck, careful and concerned. “Sorry, dude, that’s gonna freak my shit out.”

Dirk purses his lips where Dave can’t see his expression, then shrugs it off and settles against him to resume jacking off. There’s something to be said about the varied textures of his glove and his skin as he touches himself, and it’s going to be plenty satisfying on its own. “No problem,” he assures him. “Don’t wanna worry you.”

Dave kisses his hair and exhales, the heat of his breath sending the scent of Dirk’s hair product back towards his nostrils. “I can keep my hand here, though. Just not gonna do anything that might hurt you.” He kisses his head again.

“I’d trust you to do it right, but. Yeah. That’s good.” Dirk lowers his hand and leaves Dave to it, and brings his left hand down to run his fingertips along his taint as he masturbates.

“There _isn’t_ a right way that I wanna risk.” Dave can feel Dirk’s pulse beneath his left thumb, and he keeps his hand there, as if cradling Dirk’s throat, and uses his right hand to continue petting at his hip and the defined edge of his oblique. “I can’t even _pretend_ to hurt you.”

“What if I hold my breath while you keep your hand there?” Dirk offers.

“That’d be chill.” Dave squeezes his thighs around Dirk, in an attempt to hug him with his legs as Dirk sits between them. “I’m still up for keeping your dick up, y’know?”

“As long as we don’t dick it up?”

Dave laughs.

uu: GET READY.  
uu: I’M ABOUT TO COMMENT ON HOW *TENDER* THIS SHIT IS.  
TT: I thought you’d be into that.  
uu: NATURALLY.  
TT: So tell me. How tender is it?  
uu: THIS IS WHAT A CONNOISSEUR MAY CALL. A TAWDY ACT OF HARD CORE SCHMALTZ.  
TT: Is that so.  
uu: IT IS SO.  
uu: I LIKE WATCHING HIM TOUCH YOU. HE’S VERY GENTLE.  
TT: I like that he’s touching me, too.  
TT: And I like that you’re watching him touch me, and that you like that you’re watching him touch me, et cetera.  
uu: THERE IS A LOT HERE TO LIKE.  
uu: AND TO LICK.  
TT: Yeah.  
TT: What would you do if you were here right now?  
uu: ANYTHING YOU WANTED.

Dirk tilts his head back against Dave’s shoulder, his shades angled far too high up to get a view of the action. The camera records the uneventful sky, and he hopes the audio he’s recording alongside it is enough to make up for it.

“You good?” Dirk asks, enveloped within Dave’s arms.

“I’m good,” Dave confirms. On a hunch, he nudges his lips against the shell of Dirk’s ear, and takes it lightly between his teeth. “ _You’re_ good.”

Dirk shudders and speeds up his stroking, his other hand teasing beneath his balls, not quite daring to venture further when they’re on a fucking rooftop. “I’m real good right now.”

“Fuck yeah.” Dave hovers his hand at Dirk’s throat while he gropes at his hip. “I wanna help you feel _so_ good, dude. You fuckin’ deserve it.”

Dirk lets out a self-conscious laugh and closes his eyes again, his breath hitching each time Dave bites at his ear. He can only go so fast without lube, but the long-drawn pace of it has him desperate to come. Without wanting to stop, he reluctantly pauses to take his gloves off and toss them aside. No sense in messing them up.

“You’re so fuckin’ good,” Dave emphasizes, his hand tight on Dirk’s hip as if he’d be grinding on him, if there wasn’t concrete ready to scrape Dirk’s skin if he did so. “You’re so fuckin’ good, and so fuckin’ hot.”

Dirk cups his balls with one hand and then moves the focus of his stroking to the head of his dick, his fingers curled a little more tightly, sliding his foreskin back and forth as precome leaks from his glans. He gasps, and green text lights up his shades.

uu: I WANT TO HELP DAVE.  
uu: HE’S RIGHT, YOU KNOW.  
uu: YOU ARE SO *FUCKING* GOOD.  
uu: I WANT TO BE BETWEEN YOUR LEGS, LICKING AT YOU.  
uu: WHILE HE TOUCHES YOUR THROAT. AND WHILE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF.  
uu: I WANT TO KEEP YOUR KNEES APART. WHILE HIS LEGS HOLD YOU STILL.  
uu: I WANT YOU SURROUNDED BY ALL THE ATTENTION YOU DESERVE.  
uu: I WANT YOU TO FEEL WANTED.  
uu: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Dave sinks his fingertips into Dirk’s hip as he hears Dirk take a deep breath and hold it. “That’s it, dude,” he murmurs, exhaling against Dirk’s ear. “That’s it, fuckin’ keep touching yourself and talking to him. I can tell when he’s saying shit to you because you get all focused on your shades.”

Dirk’s wrist moves in quick jerking motions that pause only to tighten on the downswing, nudging his foreskin back and drawing out more precome. He glances down at himself and takes a series of deep breaths before holding the final inhale, his heartbeat rapid against the webbing of Dave’s thumb.

“He and I, we got some positive Statler and Waldorfing up in here. Some fuckin’ John Madden play-by-play for foreplay. Or, the uh. To get you into the endgame zone.” Dave slides his hand around to rub at Dirk’s inner thigh. His skin is sweaty and his muscles are tensing. It’s good. “Sports,” Dave announces.

uu: THE MOST IMPORTANT SPORT IS PROFESSIONAL HUMAN DICK SUCKING.  
uu: BUT SINCE I CAN’T SUCK YOUR DICK. I COMPETE IN A SEPARATE EVENT.  
uu: AND ALL I WANT IS TO GO DOWN ON YOU. AND HOLD YOUR HIPS WHILE DAVE HOLDS YOUR THROAT.  
uu: AND LICK YOU UNTIL YOU COME IN YOUR HAND. AND ON MY TONGUE.  
uu: AND THEN LICK THAT UP, TOO.  
uu: AND IF YOU WANT ME TO. I WOULD LICK EVEN LOWER, AFTERWARDS.

The thought is more than enough to get him off. Dirk slides his thumb through his precome, and rhythmically clenches his palm around the head of his cock. He stares at himself as he ejaculates, semen spurting onto his fingers as he tries using his other hand to block it from reaching his clothing. Dave takes the opportunity to hike Dirk’s shirt up and out of the way, just in time to let an errant glob of jizz splatter across Dirk’s stomach and pool in his navel.

Dave moves his hand away from Dirk’s neck and rests his fingers sweetly on his jaw, instead, to angle his head towards him and kiss Dirk’s cheek. “Holy _shit_ , that was fucking hot.”

Dirk tilts his head further back, his eyes half-lidded, his chin lifted towards Dave’s mouth. Dave takes the hint and shifts their position until he can kiss him, his lips soft and slow, his arms supporting Dirk’s weight as he leans back. Dirk continues to hold his dick in the afterglow of his orgasm, holding out for the last of the heady warmth to ebb away.

[ ](http://68.media.tumblr.com/ff9dddc88a9c9125359c06075962ab8f/tumblr_oji8kcrFXt1vth5d3o2_r1_1280.png)

“Shit, I really like kissing you,” Dave whispers, surprised by how powerfully he feels about such a fragile statement. “I don’t wanna stop.” 

“Mmm, fuck.” Dirk sits up so Dave doesn’t have to support his weight and lifts his hands to his mouth. He licks away his own semen before it can drip on his god tier attire. “Isn’t uh. Isn’t Terezi supposed to be meeting us like, now?”

Dave watches him suck the semen off his fingertips and tries not to dwell too much on how enthusiastic Dirk was about sucking dick, because: “Yeah. She is.”

After he thumbs away the rest of his ejaculate, Dirk lifts his ass up enough to pull his underwear, tights, and pants back up, and tugs his shirt back down. He drapes his cape back over his shoulders. His gloves are last to go back on. “At least I ate all the evidence, huh?”

Dave finally tucks himself properly back into his pants, and gives Dirk a knowing smirk. “Yeah, uh, Terezi’s gonna know.”

“Hm?”

“Ain’t nothin’ happened on the meteor that Terezi couldn’t sniff out, dude.” 

Dirk considers this. “Is she gonna care?”

Dave shrugs. “Nah. Probably not. The colors’re gonna remind her of me and Davesprite, maybe. If she takes it there.”

“She took a big whiff of me, once already,” Dirk says, unsure if Dave has access to the same continuities as he does. “But she seems chill enough. Probably.”

“Yeah. She’s cool.”

They settle themselves back into a similar seated position as when they started, side by side, watching the green sky. ARquiusprite is nowhere to be seen, and neither is Terezi.

“Maybe I should check in with her,” Dave says.

“Yeah, maybe.” Dirk smiles at him. “Wouldn’t hurt.”

Dave leaves his phone be for the moment and straps the smuppet ass communicator onto his wrist, presses something or other inside of it, and speaks against the bulbous foam. “Hey, Terezi, you coming or what?”

They wait until there’s garbled audio coming through it in response, and Dave frowns. “What did you say? Get over here, it’s almost time to fight.”

Dirk takes the opportunity to turn his attention back to his shades.

TT: So.  
uu: YOU OK?  
TT: I don’t want anything awful to happen to him, man.  
TT: He deserves so much better than that.  
uu: THERE’S NO CAUSE TO BE CONCERNED.  
TT: No?  
uu: NO.  
TT: Hm.  
uu: I PROMISE YOU.  
uu: SPEND SOME MORE TIME WITH DAVE. IT’LL BE FINE.  
TT: If you say so.  
uu: I KNOW SO.  
TT: Ok.  
TT: Hey, dude?  
uu: YEAH?  
TT: I love you too, you know.  
uu: I DO KNOW.  
TT: <3  
uu: <3  
uu: PASS THAT ALONG TO DAVE FOR ME, TOO.  
TT: What, the emoticon?  
uu: YES.  
uu: ANYWAY. SHE’S ON HER WAY NOW.  
uu: YOU SHOULD GO.  
TT: I don’t feel ready.  
uu: YOU CAN’T EVER BE. BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.  
TT: That’s some cute fuckin’ bullshit, if I’ve ever heard any.  
uu: SHH.  
uu: GO.  
uu: I’LL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE.  
uu: YOU GOT THIS.  
TT: Alright.  
TT: Later.

When he looks to Dave again, Dave is busily fucking around with his phone.

“Everything good to go?”

“Yeah.” Dave wags his eyebrows at him. “Before Terezi gets here, I figured I’d update Karkat on our adventures. Send him some live-action postcards or whatever.”

Dirk finally shuts off the video feed from his shades. Dave feels a twinge of loss as the red light fades out. 

“What’s he think?”

“He isn’t texting me back yet. Might still be doing stuff with Kanaya.”

“Gotcha. He, uh... my boyfriend says to pass along a less-than-three.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“He said you drew him a bunch of shit and you might be inclined to share.”

Dirk snorts. “Christ. Yeah, totally. It’s some good shit. Dumb, but in a fun way, right?”

“A complete inane commitment to dumb shit is the only way to roll.”

“This is why you get me.” Dirk’s expression seems fucking at peace, for the first time since Dave’s met him. “I’ll send you all the ‘smuut’ and you can show Karkat my erotic jokes, too.”

Dave beams. “Hella.”

Dirk looks to the sky, where there’s no sign of Terezi just yet. The silence spreads between them like a blanket this time: warm and comfortable and shared. “Hey, Dave?”

Dave smiles. “I like hearing you say my name, man.”

Dirk allows the tightness to swell in his chest. “I’m... I’m glad we got to, y’know. Do this.”

“Same.” Dave glances to the sky, too. Still nothing. Not yet. “Hey, Dirk?”

“Hm?”

Dave scoots back into his personal space, and reaches for Dirk’s hand. Dave’s shades are still off, and his eyes are pretty. Dirk feels a little lame for thinking it, but it’s _true_.

“Can I, uh. Can we... maybe one more time?”

Dirk nods. “Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.”

Dirk takes off his shades again, so they won’t interfere. Dave watches him lower his eyelids and move in, and he meets him halfway, gentle and kind as they kiss each other. He lifts his hand to touch Dirk’s face, his thumb petting along his cheekbone, his fingertips brushing at Dirk’s hair. 

“I don’t want this to end,” Dave says, hushed.

Dirk shakes his head and kisses the corner of his mouth. “It doesn’t have to.”

“What if shit goes bad?”

Dirk smiles at him, willing himself to be as confident as he wishes he was. “It’ll be fine. We’re all gonna be okay.”

Still not quite sold on the validity of the statement, Dave nods anyway. “Okay.”

“You all right?”

Dave nods again, and kisses Dirk, grateful to be able to see his eyes. “Thanks for being here.”

Dirk raises his hand to press Dave’s securely against his cheek, where Dave’s still keeping him close. “This is where I wanna be, yo.”

There’s sudden noise in the air, distanced but rapidly approaching, and they both know what it means. Dave puts his other hand on the back of Dirk’s head, desperate but not demanding, and kisses him one final time. When he pulls away, he bites his lip and tries to blink until his vision’s clear.

“Okay,” Dave says. “Okay, I’m gonna... I’m gonna put my shades back on.”

“Yeah, all right. Me too.”

They both do, and stand up together, waiting in unison for Terezi to descend to the rooftop.

While she’s still too far away to see, Dirk reaches for Dave’s hand and holds it tightly.

Dave turns his head to look at him, and smiles.

Dirk smiles back.

When Terezi lands, Dave catches her expression changing to a practiced, go-to grin. “Hey, losers!” she says, brightly, her voice catching despite her best efforts. 

Dirk nods to her, watching the exhaust dissipate the longer the jetpack is resting. “Nice wings.”

She laughs, too loudly. “Good to smell you again, Dirk.”

Dave doesn’t call her on it, and laughs along, too. “He’s a stinker, ain’t he?”

Terezi glances between them, or rather, turns her head towards each of them as she breathes a little more deeply. She’s hesitant, and when she speaks, it’s fond, non-threatening. “It’s not noticeable. You two are fine.”

Dirk runs his hand through his hair, self-conscious. “Ah, yeah.”

“Does Karkat know?” Terezi asks, her tone serious.

Dave’s nodding before she finishes the question, his stomach in knots. “Dude, yeah. God, I’d never—”

Terezi shakes her head. “No, I figured, I just—”

“It’s fine, I know you didn’t mean...” Dave glances away, then back to her, even though she can’t make eye contact with him. “I messaged him before anything happened.”

“Okay, yeah.” She takes off the straps of the rocket wings and puts them away, more as a task to do for the sake of doing it, than with any real urgency. “So, we ready to kick some Jack ass?”

Dirk rocks on his heels. “You know it.”

Dave studies her face, familiar after three years of sharing the same space. It still seems unreal, far-off, to meet her in person and then live with her and his other friends from the goddamn internet, to have them exist in a physical plane after extrapolating so many assumptions about their habits from their typing styles, and projecting so many expectations upon them. Just to have them be people, after all, at the end of the sunless day.

“Terezi?”

She faces him, and even after all this time, he still feels like behind the red lenses, she can see right fucking through him. “Yeah, Dave?”

He steps forward with full confidence that she can feel his movements, hear his cape moving, and before he makes it into her personal space, she already has her arms open to receive him. Terezi wraps her arms tightly around him, holding him securely around his waist, as he loops his arms over her shoulders and buries his face against her neck, shades and all.

“What’s up, coolkid?” she asks, voice breaking.

[ ](http://68.media.tumblr.com/a4cb80d7b6f3d40d9c52271f18e1b577/tumblr_oji8kcrFXt1vth5d3o3_r1_1280.png)

Dave’s words are muffled by the collar of her shirt. “Were you crying?”

She nods, her lips tight. She sniffs without meaning to. “Yeah.”

“Did you know,” Dave begins, his fingers gripping into her t-shirt, “that this nerd drew a bunch of dumb shit for his internet boyfriend, too?”

“Ha!” Terezi tilts her head in to rest against Dave’s hair. “Awesome.”

Dave stays quiet for a long while, wondering if the lightning in LOTAK’s clouds reminds her of synapses or some other mind player shit. She rubs at his back, beneath his cape, her hands warmed between its fabric and his body. The moment is moving to the point of excess, both of them berating themselves for indulging something so obviously emotional in front of a third party.

“I’m no good at this kind of shit, Dave,” she says, the edge of her glasses touching to the crown of his head.

He closes his eyes against the slight darkness provided by her hair. “You don’t gotta be.”

“Do you guys want me to go?” Dirk asks, without any hint of passive-aggression. “If you need some space, I get it.”

“I can’t believe how lame I’m being,” Terezi counters, brashly. “But get over here.”

She disentangles her right arm from under Dave’s cape and reaches out to Dirk, her cheek still pressed to the top of Dave’s head. Dave mirrors her motion and extends his left arm out to match her.

“I’m...” Dirk pauses, then rolls his eyes at himself. “Fuck it, let’s get our hug on.”

Dirk doesn’t have anywhere good to put his head that won’t get weirdly into Terezi’s personal space, so he steps closer to them and lets them hug him loosely. Terezi rests her hand on his upper arm, gives him a sort of _what can you do_ look, and tries to smile. Dave curls his fingers into Dirk’s cape, short as it is, and lifts his head scantly away from Terezi’s shoulder.

“I love you guys,” he says, assured and honest, if unused to announcing it aloud. “So. Just know that, I guess.”

Terezi laughs, uncomfortable. “You’re pretty sure we’re gonna die, huh, Dave?”

Dave presses his face so closely to Terezi’s neck that the frames of his shades start digging into both of them. He works the cloth of Dirk’s cape between his fingers, gripping it in his fist, shaking.

Terezi squeezes at Dirk’s arm, glancing to him with worry, before letting herself relax and rest her head completely against Dave’s, her cheek pushed against his hair. Dirk wonders if he should follow suit and bring it in to do the same to Terezi, but her horns are a deterrent even without the baseline awkwardness. He pats her hand in a way that he hopes is reassuring, and squeezes his arm around Dave’s shoulders.

“We love you, too,” Dirk confirms, and the way Terezi’s eyes are screwed shut behind her glasses tells more than she’s giving voice to.

There’s an abrupt sound that none of them are initially sure if they heard. Dave pulls away and looks around, confused. Dirk and Terezi watch him, first, then step back from each other, to give everyone some breathing room.

“Did someone just bark?” Dave asks, struggling to keep his voice flat. “Terezi, was that you?”

“What?” It’s a joke, and she knows it, and keeping up the extended unspoken acknowledgement of their critical situation is, itself, critical. “No, I didn’t bark. I thought it was you.”

“Why would I bark?”

“Well, why the fuck would _I_ bark?”

Dirk glances between them and tries to keep his expression on the smiling side of neutral. It’s hard, but these two understand.

“Okay, this exchange is asinine,” Dave decides, flicking his gaze up to the sky. Lightning arcs across the clouds. He walks over to the edge of the roof, keeping his eyes directed upward. “It was probably just Jade.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you [redlament](http://redlament.tumblr.com/) for the [illustrations](http://redlament.tumblr.com/post/155882030020/illustrations-for-this-fic-warning-though-the)!


End file.
